Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
