Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
