Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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