My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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