He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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