i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
