i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
