I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
