I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
