And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
