You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
