Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
