I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
