TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
