And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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