And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
