I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
