o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
