Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
