i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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