Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
