A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we're making bets on your personal life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
