I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
