Betty ford says i'm here all night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
