My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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