She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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