Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
