we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
