I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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