Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
