The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
