Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
