I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
