I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
