I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
