i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
