Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
