Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
