let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
