If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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