I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
