having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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