If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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