dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
