Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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