Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
