yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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