honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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