cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
