...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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