don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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