just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
